The P is for pain

in psoriasis.
I have had this skin diseas since i was 4-5 years young,and it still keeps hunting me to this day.
Treatment after treatment i tried,year after year..most of them helped for a little while,then i had to try something else.
In 2010 i finally tried stelara,and it changed my life..after a few weeks i could see the difference..and after months it was all gone.It was a miracle!! After almost 5 years with this amazing medicine i had to stop,and my last treatment was in august 2014,because iam now pregnant ( over 5 months ).
My psoriasis was slowly coming back..and then BOOM..its everywhere..and its painfull..its hurting,..itching..bleeding..and i dont even know what to do..i cant start with stelara,but i can take some light treatment,even tho i know it doesnt help me that much..and then of course lotions and creams..everything sticky and icky and my clothes get ruined and my bedsheet is full of white snow and lotions and oils…
Everything hurts,to take a shower..put on socks..and shoes..washing up the dishes..or just simply wash my hands…
When iam home i use big swatpants,so it doesnt get to painfull and sticky with all the creams and lotions,but when i have to go out i need to put some jeans on ( pregnancy jeans now )..and i hate it,because everything sticks together and the jeans is stuck and i just feel trapped 😦
My sofa, floor,bed,bathroom,toilet,kitchen…everywhere u can see white flakes after me..and its so embarrassing..i got it all over my body,feet,legs,toes,knees,hands,scalp..everyday i need to clean up after me,and iam ashamed.

Its hard to explain for someone who never had this,but its pain..just..pain.

Me and my big belly 22+1 (week 23)

This is pictures from today,and it just keep getting worse..tomorrow im going to see my doctor,to find a solution i can use right now when iam pregnant.

My birthday,my pregnancy & photos:)

Hey,and good evening to you..
Today the sun is actually shining in Trondheim..and im starting to get that spring feeling,even tho its not that warm outside,and we can still see a little bit of snow..But its ok,i think its gona go away soon if the sun keeps on shining 😉
Yesterday,sunday march 1 it was my birthday..one year older,ufff…even tho i feel like i never age 😀
Later that day my family made dinner,one of my favorite foods..and cake..i love cake.. 😀

Sweet chocolate cake..yummi 😀

Look at this..oooow 😀

Thank you all for a amazing day!

Now its just 8 days till im going to the first ultrasound..and i cant wait..wanna see my little baby so bad now..wanna listen to the heartbeat,and see that everything is ok ❤ And find out how far iam in my pregnancy.

Im either 14 or 18 weeks..what you think?

Last week i just had to buy this cute grey hoodie and sweatpants,cuz i dont know the gender yet..so everything is unisex for now..but i wanna know..is it a girl..or a boy..already talking bout names too..but when i dont know,its kinda hard..hope they can tell me after the ultrasound 😀

yeah..i just had to buy my first jeans for pregnant woman,and they are amazing too..wish i had more of them haha..
I bought them at HM for 399 kroner 🙂 The first photo i use my normal jeans,and they are just too tight now.

Now im gona make some sandwitches and eat some,we are hungry 😀
See yah soon..be blessed.

Need a little outbreak.

I dont know what it is or why,but i just feel like shit,and depressed.
I cant describe it or tell you why.It is what it is.And this is how my life usually is.
I dont tell or talk to people bout it,cuz really..i dont want to bother anyone about my private life and whats going on in it.
Those who know me good,like..REAL good,they know what i been thru and what my private struggles are..
Many years ago i actually had a norwegian blog where i wrote everything,my ups and downs.My day to day struggle,and i know many appreciated that,cuz then they “knew” how i was.
But i stopped writing,i stopped it all.Cuz it got to personal.
This is my first in a long time,and probably my last….
I dont like that people.. or even friends and family know my inner thoughts and struggles.
So i keep them all to myself.
Sometimes when people ask me whats up with me..i just say im ok,im good,im fine…then i can avoid all the explaining.
Cuz everytime i have to explain my life..why i dont work,why im not that social,why im this and why im that..it kills me inside.
If you only knew..or understood.But sometimes this cant be explained.You just have to take me..for me..as iam.
The last week or so..nah..maybe more..i dont know..i been feeling real shit..real down..depressed..i been sleeping most of the time..and up all night..i eat maybe one meal a day..been anti-social..dont wanna talk much..or go out.
I have lived with this struggles for 16 years..My life didnt go as i wanted,but here iam..a invisible soldier with my own battles.
And im sorry if you dont understand me..but please respect me..i didnt chose this.
I know you see me smiling,laughing..But you dont see my tears and you dont know my thoughts.
I lived like this for a long time,i know when to put my “game face” on..my mask..the smile..
Im tired.

Im back..again..

Hey,been a while since i been on this blog..sorry bout that..but here iam.
Last post i wrote i that i moved..and im enjoying my apartment..its awesome.
I also celebrated my birthday,had some friends over..was nice.
Think im just gona post pictures from the last months as usual.

Think thats it for now..but follow me on instagram..its alot more there.. -> kalihk

So be blessed.

So its a new year..and here iam :))

Its been a while now,since i been using this blog.
But here iam..and im gona try to update you guys as good as i can.
Now this last week i moved into my own apartment,and its just awesome 🙂

Not done yet with the last finish tho..still some more to do,just been here a week:)

Oooh christmas has been too,and i didnt even write about that..
I was with my family,just spent some time with them..ate good food and enjoyed theyr company.
Guess i can just post some pictures i been taking thru the last months..If you follow me on instagram,or you are friends with me on Facebook you probably seen some of them before.

This is me on christmas eve.

I did this xD .. snapchat everything…

Ate alot of this… 🙂

More snapchat… 🙂

Good food 😛

Me and Missi on snapchat :))

Got a new hoodie 😉

More candy xD

Wished you all a happy holiday :))

Was cold outside tho..and inside xD

Yesssss 😀

When i was moving…so many boxes..

Lunch with my mom ❤

Late night food and netflix 😉

Happy Kali :))

Thats about it for now..
Tomorrow me and my dad are driving to sweden,just to buy some food n stuff..
Chaw for now people.
Be blessed ❤

Update you guys again lol

Hello..so sorry for not updating my blog..just forgot really..
But now im gona update in pictures.. Not much has happend here tho,just been with my family,been out with friends,been to concert and seen my brothers band 1099 play,visited friends and just chilled out. The weather is just getting colder too,im not so happy bout that lol … Only nice thing bout that is the dark nights with candle lights,some good music or a movie,and of course some good good food:))

So cold outside lol

Even my cat Missi thinks its cold xD

My breakfast..and now the julebrus (christmas soda) has come too damn..

Me waiting on the bus one day…

Lunch with my mom at Brukbar

Missi wants my breakfast..she so cute tho..

So cute!

Just me ;P

Dinner at my parents house one day…

Chilled out at home..

Today its sunday,so its all about chill the f… out haha

🙂

Missi wants some attention lol

🙂

Hope you all have a blessed sunday!

Gona update again soon,i promise lol

Weekend`s here

Hey and again i have to update yah on stuff lol

Now it`s already Saturday here..40 minutes in Saturday tho haha and i be sleeping almost all Friday ..
Don`t really know why,but im just tired..so tired.
So today (Saturday) im gona meet my mom,and we gona visit my bestfriend at her work,and then we gona go around and shop i guess and then we gona chill at the place my dad is gona have concert..so music and food time lol.
Since last update i just been with my family and friends,just been chillin really.
Not that much to update..just gona post some photo`s.

The other day this was my lunch,and i watched Breaking Bad:)

And some weeks ago i was in Sweden with my dad,we just drove to Storlien tho..
and this is what i ate in the car on the way home lol

I made this yesterday:))

Me waiting on the bus.. xD

Got myself some new sneaker ❤

Chillin at my friends house..

Missi is chillin..on the table..of course lol

And we watched Breaking Bad one night haha

Just me 😀

This photo`s of me is taken by my bestfriend Åshild:)

HAHAHA Missi and me xD

Now its enough photo`s i guess ..
Time for me to eat some and chill with some on Netflix before i sleep some more.

Be blessed ya`ll.

This is me

This is me. <— click it!

My webpage thing..kinda like a homepage lol

Time again …

to update you guys on my life lol..oki,not all my life tho…but a small part of it,in pictures and stuff..
Been a while since i wrote some here..if anyone have suggestions on what i should write bout just let me know ok?:)
First update is about Missi,my cat..haha..she is not my old cat,she is another Missi:))
I talked to the lady that owned her before,and this Missi i have is about 10 years young,and no place to go..so now she is with me..im her new mom lol..She is the most amazing cat tho,so sweet and wanna just chill all day.

So nice to have company of this lil furball lol

And today my mom called me..and she told me her and my dad already ordered a trip to Spain next september,and im going with them!!:)
So 2 september 2014 im going to Alcudia,-Mallorca for 2 weeks 😀
Gona be so awesome to just chill in the sun,swim and eat alot of good food,shop and be with my family.My mom and dad just came home from Alcudia 2 days ago,so they took some picz..
just look at thiiiiiis wooooooooooooooow

Cant wait to swim there..and just chill out!! ❤

Now im just gona update with some picz,like i always do hehe

My baguette lunch one day!:) at BigBite (Sirkus Shopping)

Waited on the bus..

Knitting like a pro haha.. Just learned it!:)

Ate this good food today,chicken,pasta and some other goodies inside there..

The other day it was so hot weather..so nice to chill outside with a cold glas of cocacola.

And this cheeseburger;)

And just chilled really..

Yepp,so now i dont know what more to write..gona update ya`ll later..
Be blessed<3

You missed me ?

Sorry its been some days,but ive been busy..
We celebrated my dad`s birthday on saturday,and all my siblings where here..

That`s my brother,so me,my dad,my sister and brother

On friday we all got together,my brothers,sister,nieces,uncle,my mom,dad..everyone..we just chilled,ate some good food..
and when it was 00.00 midnight to august 10th..my dad got this from the place we were,Graffi !!

I had this strawberry milkshake,it was soooo good!!!!
Saturday was the big day,we celebrated my dad and my Godfather..cuz my dad gona be 70..and my Godfather 80.
So it was a 150 year celebration!
First it was a birthday concert from 2-4 and from 7-2.30 (4.30 lol ) the private party for family and friends.

Classy chick^^
So many people took pics this day,but i have not got them yet..
gona post when i have them.cuz i didnt really take so many pics.. :O

My brother and his girlfriend:)

From the birthday concert earlier that day (saturday).My dad is on drums!

My dad also played at the private party later that night!

From my mom and dads hotel room,we just chilled till 4-5 in the morning haha
Thank God i got a taxi right away,cuz i was so tired.
Next day..sunday..i met my brothers,theyr girlfriends and my niece..we ate lunch,chilled,and walked around..
it was raining,so wasnt that much to do.
But i took pic of my food tho..haha..my bro took many pics,just waiting on him to send me.

This was sooooo good!!:D

Today..tuesday..i just been chilling at home,cuz its been raining non stop since sunday night…
and i cleaned my apartment,washed clothes,and made myself some good food,and talked on the phone^^

And this is me today..with my coke haha

This is what`s happening outside my window..just rain..rain..rain..

Made myself some chicken,rice,sauce and nan bread.

Just gona post random food`s i be eatin the last days..

This pasta thing i made on monday

Just some chips i ate lol

and some toast the other day..

ate this on friday with my fam:)

and yeah..i cut my hair too..one of my bestfriends was so nice,she cut this bangs last week:)
Good with a lil change.

Now im gona watch some more Breaking bad,and warm up some of that chicken thing i made earlier..
and im gona post more when i get the pictures im waiting on!

Be blessed ya`ll !!